Wild - The - Ness

Was talking to God yesterday as I strolled back to my place after jogging.

Learnt practically and experientially a few truths/revelations:

Every wilderness experience is not actually very 'fun' to be in, but as you go through it and finally 'graduate' it, you come to a point where u emerge different, God who Himself will complete/restore and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and place you on a firm foundation.


I think I am starting to grasp the verse in Eccelesiastes 1: 2 a lil better. Go check it yourself.


Telling God to "relax a bit la" in orchestrating the wilderness experience for me is really foolish as He is completing a good work in me.


I realise there is a difference in between true joy in the Lord and joy from what is around you and what you have. Imagine Peter, who still sings praises from his prison cell, when everything doesn't go well, Peter still could find the joy.


Faith is truely tested when circumstances do not go your way. When things go well, is your faith in God only? Or do you have faith in your good circumstances. Hard to say till God reveals it.




Bertrand

I'm in lecture

Woohoo...

Blog hopping has yielded its fruits:

Sean's bloggie says that we should not be stuck in old/past seasons.

Must be a confirmation. haha...

Well btw, who are my secret blog readers? Well this blog is kinda black and dull
Think I am gonna give it a facelift.


hmm... somethots
School term is starting, got something to look forward to.
haha.
People are gonna stone me
I am not refering to homework and study, as I believe many people think so. :p
haha.
I can't wait to see my friends again.

To my MSE friends:
Arrgh... Been really busy. Can't wait to see you all again. Serious. We got lotsa time to catch up next sem considering we will be together in school like most of the day each week. :D haha.

To my fellow Churchies:
So glad to get to some of you better this hols. haha... Guess to chat wif u all during school days would be over msn/phone. Those wif 3 day or 4 day school weeks, resist the temptation to gloat over my 5 day, 9am to 5pm, school weeks. Those I am referring to u know who u r. *bish bish* Beat your head if u laugh at me. Will find time to call u guys since we won't have time to catch up much in chuch wif our ususal running around in our busy-ness in the weekends.

To my Dad (the human one, if u r reading this):
Yes I am looking forward to you taking leave. Haha... Thank you for allowing me to have the car for those days this coming sem!!! Wahh hahaha.....


Bertrand

New insert!

Wha ha ha...

Just some random comments:

Again I notice how people like to put up an image that they are happy and joyful all the time when in fact they are not. Saying that, I do not mean there are no truly happy people in the world. Just that there are those who are not happy, but like to put up a front of joy.


Again I recall Ecclesiastes 7: 14

" On a good day, enjoy yourself;
On a bad day, examine your conscience.
God arranges for both kinds of days
So that we won't take anything for granted " (Msg)

God arranges for good days and bad days, so that we, His children will not take anything for granted. Hard to imagine how spiritual heavy weights such as Reinhard Bonnke and Benny Hinn have bad days, but that is true.


Again I think what I learnt during QT yesterday.

Apparently, the first two commandments:
'Do not worship and other God.' and 'Do not build for yourself any graven images.'
cover a vast amount of things, tangible and intangible.

Even for Christians, joy, peace and love can become a graven image, an emotional idol you chase after. Christians are supposed to be God chasers and God worshippers, rain or shine, joyful or remorseful, peaceful or in pain, feeling loved by others or rejected by others.

Joy, peace and love are what God gives as His gracious gift to His children because He loves us. Yet, they are not what we should be chasing after.


Again I think how we sometimes can be judgemental and short-sighted. We see the sin or the weakness, but never understanding or seeking why it is there. Deep down these are all linked to a single source, a longing in an area(s) of their souls which needs God to come in. Nothing that perfect love cannot do!

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Psalm 6 - Prayer for Mercy in Time of Trouble.

For the choir director; with stringed instruments, upon an eight-string lyre. A Psalm of David.

1O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger,
Nor chasten me in Your wrath.
2Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am pining away;
Heal me, O LORD, for my bones are dismayed.
3And my soul is greatly dismayed;
But You, O LORD--how long?
4Return, O LORD, rescue my soul;
Save me because of Your lovingkindness.
5For there is no mention of You in death;
In Sheol who will give You thanks?
6I am weary with my sighing;
Every night I make my bed swim,
I dissolve my couch with my tears.
7My eye has wasted away with grief;
It has become old because of all my adversaries.
8Depart from me, all you who do iniquity,
For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.
9The LORD has heard my supplication,
The LORD receives my prayer.
10All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed;
They shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed.

Well... I am posting my QT up here today, with reference to the Maxwell Leadership Bible:


Observation (in General):

King David wrote many songs, directed unto God. Many songs were about his own affliction and his cry for God to deliver him. David was a man after God's own heart and was not afraid to communicate (or sing) and reveal his emotions or weaknesses.

"The Leader's Humanity: Don't Hide it.
Even as King of Israel, he (David) declared his fears, his anxieties, and his ambitions. Good leaders know how to balance transparency with being an example. Good leaders feel secure enough to be vulnerable" - Maxwell Leadership Bible, commentary on Psalms 6


Application:

People (as especially the men) often think being tough means that they are not easily emotionally effected (or at least they should appear that way.) Hence comes the whole macho mumbo jumbo. For example, I learnt during my NCC days: 'Real men don't cry!' Haha... If that is true, real men are abnormal. Men often hide their emotions and weaknesses from others fearing that others might 'pity' them or see them as 'weak'

However, the KING OF ISRAEL was not afraid to reveal his emotions and weakness. We can see this frm v2, v3 and so on.

2Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am pining away;
Heal me, O LORD, for my bones are dismayed.
3And my soul is greatly dismayed;
But You, O LORD--how long?

He did so and balanced it with the way he walked his life's journey as an example. King David was transparent about his griefs, but always trusted the Lord and his actions and words portrayed his trust in the Lord. This was the example King David showed to his men. We can see this from v9 and v10.

"9The LORD has heard my supplication,
The LORD receives my prayer.
10All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed;
They shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed."


Men need to know: being vulnerable is not weakness, but
(Vulnerability of weaknesses + true faith in the Lord) are two traits that a Kingdom man will have and the Kingdom man's strength is not of his, but of the Lord's.

The greatest man to show vulnerability is Jesus, as He was willing to die on the cross in front of EVERYONE, not in a closed room. Jesus, although He was sinless and was equal to God, Jesus was willing to be vulnerable in the flesh (to be crucified). Jesus never lost faith in His father God and walked in obedience to be crucified.


Prayer:
Lord, help me learn to be open and vulnerable as a leader. Help me learn to be a Kingdom man. Help me learn to be a man after your own heart, with faith and trust in You and yet secure enough to reveal my weaknesses. Lord, may this little devotion bless those who read it. Give them a rhema word as well Lord. Amen.

Valley of Baca

Well,
you know I really thank the Lord for those times where people comfort me and dig a cistern for me when I am in a valley of Baca.

Wait.. hahah... No la... Bertrand is not emo-ing. In fact I am brimming with a serene joy as I write this.

Thinking back, I look down upon the valley and see how many bridges and cisterns were built for my sake in the past and the guidance Hosea, Pastor Mark, Roland and my other leaders gave.

It is my privilege to help others who went through or are going the Valley of Baca.

I rejoice in the Lord and enjoy His blessings. At least with people who are in the valley of Baca, I can say I know to how you feel, for my footsteps can still be seen in the sand in that valley. I would like to help as long as you as you would like to share ya.... :D I rejoice in being able to share the burden with you, to share with you how God has pulled me out of Baca.

While reflecting after church camp, God spoke to me.
King David, despite being the greatest king of all, went through deeper Valley of Bacas then we actually think. Just recount his experiences trying to hide away from assailants in the country that he was told he was going tobe anionted king. Even as King, his own son Absalom staged a coup and David had to run out of the his land God had set him to care for. To make matters worse, his own son slept with 10 of his wives in a tent so that the Israelite people could see. Incest!!!
Imagine the pain, hurt, jealousy, sadness, contradiction, confusion that King David had to go through. Wow, but King David to this day is still respected as the greatest King of Israel.

Why do God allow people to go through the Valley of Baca?
One reason is to let your flesh die away and hence the Spirit can be in power.
(Read Job and 1 Cor 5. Note that Job was an upright man while the example in 1 Cor 5 shows is about a man who was doing evil. -- Both still need to go through Baca.)

A verse to encouragement:
1 Peter 5: 10
"10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."

Joyful, joyful, out of Baca I come, declaring that Jesus lives and He is your everpresent help and saviour.

Happily,
Bertrand

Dreams

I look out afar, wondering, thinking.
I sense something is missing.
Well, love my life now, I love God and His abundance.
More than I could have asked for as a lost lil boy 7 years ago.

Putting my thoughts into words has never been my strong point, but I am learning.
Maybe what I sense missing is a dissatisfaction?
I ask myself, what do I want to see? More salvations? More God's power?
Maybe its a start of a desire to find my true destiny and calling. I love my ministries now, I serve them in delight. However, I feel there is so much more and I feel that I am still called to something greater. I want to see it happen.

hmph... I am lost with this one.

Lord, in your time, in your arms.
I am still learning to build faith. Well, I guess God showed me that I still have not enough faith. I mean, God has been training me in faith. Well now I believe God demands my faith even when emotions go awry. Away with the flesh!

Bertrand

Woman!

Wow... I have just read the first chapter of What a MAN wants, what a WOMAN needs by Bishop Eddie Long and.....

I am beginning to better understand my role as a man and also understand a woman's role as a woman.

Seriously, Woman deserve so much more credit than society gives them. Their quiet spirit, poise and grace is what God created to be attractive about them, not how they dress up. Their spiritual warfare weapons are designed to be more powerful then men! These are biblical. Real cool!

WOW.

I think I am gonna be head over heels in love with a Kingdom Woman.

Haha

Bertrand

One Life, One Love

ONE LIFE, ONE LOVE
City Harvest Church


WHO AM I
THAT YOU WOULD KNOW ME FROM THE
START
SET ME APART
WHO AM I
THAT YOU WOULD PLACE ETERNITY INTO MY HEART

YOU HAVE GIVEN TO ME
MORE THAN THIS WORLD COULD GIVE
MY PURPOSE IS FOUND IN YOU

ONE LIFE, I LAY AT YOUR ALTAR
ONE LOVE, I HAVE WITH YOU
TOUCH ME AGAIN
FILL ME AS YOU HOLD
MY OUTSTRETCHED HANDS
ONE WORD, YOU KNOW I WILL FOLLOW
ONE HEART, BROKEN TO YOU
USE ME AGAIN
YOUR MERCIES FOLLOW ME
FOR ALL MY DAYS

IN YOUR PRESENCE
IN YOUR POWER
HOLY SPIRIT, I SURRENDER

3rd post in 7 hrs

Wonder why I post so much. :p
OKAY READERS.
I need your input. So kindly do reply by tagging on my tagboard on the right.

Qn: What are some of the most troublesome/repetitive administrative needs in CFC (YA/YM) today?

Lord Jesus, My everything

I must be on a roll. After Gurmit, after sunday's sermon on remembering our first love.
Here is a song by 98 degrees - My everything. One of my favs, cos the lyrics really talk to me. This song, dedicated and sung to Jesus, my first love.


The loneliness of nights alone.
I search for strength to carry on.
My every hope has seemed to die.
My eyes had no more tears to cry.
Then like the sun shinned from up above.
You surrounded me with your endless love.
And all the things I couldn't see.
Are now so clear to me.

CHORUS
You are my everything.
Nothing your love won't bring.
My life is yours alone.
The only love I've ever known.
Your spirit pulls me through.
When nothing else will do.
Every night I pray.
On bended knee.
That you will always be.
My everything.

Now all my hopes and all my dreams.
Are suddenly reality.
You've opened up my heart to feel.
A kind of love that's truly real.
A guiding light that'll never fade.
There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade.
For the love you give it won't let go.
I hope you'll always know.

Chorus

Oh. You're the breath of life in me.
The only one that sets me free.
And you have made my soul complete for all time.
For all time.

Chorus

You are my everything.
Nothing your love won't bring.
My life is yours alone.
The only love I've ever known.
Your spirit pulls me through.
When nothing else will do.
Every night I pray.
On bended knee.
That you will always be.
My everything, oh my everything...

Lyrics from www.lyrics.net

Bertrand

Bertrand's Heart Vault

Hi
You know...

Getting into this frenzy of brokeness and hunger, God is showing me areas of my life that I had locked away in my heart's secret vault. It never dawned on me that such issues would be hindrances to my state of 'brokeness' unto Jesus.

I guess this is a learning process, where God probes and we have to acknowledge our meekness and our weaknesses. It is only now I realise I am still immature in certain areas of my life. My heart is really.... uh.... my emotions drives me crazy. Wake up Berty!

These areas are the pretty sensitive areas of my life... Teaching my head the right thing was not enough. God wants my heart to have a 100% change. Hence, I am getting probed. Like Roland says, God is putting His finger there, digging out the problem.

Well, as the bible says,
"He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding." - Proverbs 15:32



On a side note, ever noticed how some secular love songs could actually be sung unto the Lord?
Well here is one, an interlude or some sort by 98 degrees, lyrics adapted to sing unto Jesus.

You give me the moon at night,
You give me the stars to light my eyes.
You give me the sun to make just one more dawn,
So another day may come.
You gave me my heart and soul.
You'll be there to catch me when I fall.
When you'll ask me what I'll give to you,
Lord, I'll give it all...


:D
Bertrando Bertiando Berty Bert-Bert Bertrand

Humility and Progress

Another comment that I hope blesses you.
In this hustle and bustle, ups and downs of Christian life, there is a question that plagues me.

Qn: HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN HAVE WE MADE IT?

For example, if we prayed about having more patience, how do we know that we are patient enough? This applies to all areas of our life.

Well, I am more or less convinced already that the following answer is a good (biblical) gauge for us Christians to know whether we have made it or not.

Ans: WHEN WE THINK AND BELIEVE WE HAD MADE IT, WE WOULD HAVE FAILED.

I imagine soem people would be going 'huh?' The answer sounds oxymoronic. Haha..

Well let me explain.

Firstly, recall the verse:
Matthew 5: 3
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Basically, as the verse mentions when we feel hungry/weak/desperate/poor in our spirit, we would continue to seek spiritual nourishment, and the reslu is we would gain the kingdom of heaven.

Likewise, in any area, recognising a hunger and our WEAKNESS in a certain area of our life, we would seek to grow in that area. When we think we have made it, we stop recognising our hunger and also stop recognising that we are still weak in that area and have much to learn.

This contributes to humility. However, do not be over-modest, for that is not good too. We can reconise improvement, but do not recognise ever reaching the ultimate goal in any area.

For when we think we have made it, we have failed.

Rolling Random Rolls

haha....
Just some random tots.

Church is a real good place for young ones to grow huh. Sometimes I do wonder how I would be today if I didn't stop attending Emmanuel when I was Primary 1.
(haha.... I was 'born' into the church too... Not many ppl know this... Well, but for 10 years I was in the wilderness)

I concluded that I really wouldn't know. I have NO CLUE WHATSOEVER how I would have turned out. Better I guess?

However what shapes me now is partially due to my childhood trauma as the perpetual reject.
How God has pulled me out of my miry clay is A MIRACLE. I still remember how one declared to his friends his disdain and dislike for me, how another just declared not liking my face to my peers and to me as well... Pui! That was bad. Could feel the slight pinch just thinking about the past. Well, I think the reason why those happened was in part due to my character then anyway.
Well, God surely has changed me. God is definitely one who can change lives. Serious.

I see popular secondary school teens being surrounded by loving friends in church who loves them for no matter who they are. Wow. I should have heeded the still voice bugging me to go back to church all those years earlier. Anyway, I think teens should not take their friends for granted. Each and everyone of your friends, besties, pals, buddies, etc. are all treasures, pearls, diamonds, rubies, blessings from our Daddy God to you. God knows the importance of fellowship!

Well, a lil more of myself to anyone who reads this. (I wonder who reads anyway? haha...) I do hope my lil entries somehow encourages you in Christian faith.

I remember a verse God taught me after all those months of praying to God to teach me and help me make friends.

Proverbs 22:11
He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.

Yup well... speaks for itself doesn't it? I am still learning to live out this verse.

After teaching me to make friends, God also taught me how to interact with girls. (Okay... let me emphasize on INTERACT... Interact meaning talking and making friends and not hitting on or anything like that... haha... Just to get that part clear.) God is a good God. I was so worried that due to my lack of rapport with girls would mean I would not be able to go to Commissioning Ball with a date! Well.. Yay... I got a date in the end!!! Learnt a lot along the way too on how to be like around girls. Well... I am still learning and seriously am no pro at it. (Which reminds me... some guys actually have mastered the 'ART OF GETTING A GIRL' so girls do get to know a guy well first before entering a relationship with him. Thats advice from 'kor-kor bert'.)

Well... yar... haha... Yes you can pray about anything to Daddy God. Just make sure you do it with the right mindset and heart.

Bertrand

The future

Lately I've been stressing over how am I gonna provide for myself and my family in future.

Also, I have been pretty stressed over living up to the Siow family line's illustrious careers and successes. Wonder if any other guy out there feels the same?

You know when you are young all these do not actually bug you. Now, they do. Probably it is the growing up process.

Well, I dunno how well I'll do in future and I dunno how financially abundant and stable I would be, but one thing I do know is, I want a happy family.

Poor families can be complete and happy
Rich families can be dysfunctional and in dispair.
Money does not equal happiness.
(P.S. I do not just say this hypotectically. I know families that fit into the above two categories.)

I guess, bringing up a joyful, loving, Godly family is what I really want. I trust God to provide for me my internship, my future occupation, my future finances. In God I put my trust.

Hebrews 13: 5.

yes you found the secret message.. hahahahhahahahaha

Peace like a river

Whup!

Think I finally understand a lil.
You know how everytime something does not seem to go well (or even if it does go well), God wants you to learn something.

For my current predicament, I guess God does not want me to take blessings for granted. Only realised at 1am, that I am not making a concious effort to drive myself to serve God with whatever He has blessed me with.

It is not like I am not serving, however, to you readers out there, whatever you are blessed with does not just include your talents. It includes everything from your friends, your material goods, your influence, etc. Sometimes, we tend to become so used to them that we forget who is the creator and provider of ALL things.

Let's be good stewards of all things. Big and small. We should not steal from God. He gave it to us. It is for a reason.

"It ain't just a dance, its a lifestyle"

Woohoo...

"It ain't just a dance, its a lifestyle" - that old retired motto.

The thought exiting from the bboy realm quietly as I age was on my mind in the recent months. Well, as God so had it, there is a twist in my ministry and now I gotta get my skills up to par again. Woot! To serve!

Lord, Whatever it is, Never let me go, Never let me forget it is you who gave me this gift and opportunity and that you are the one who is in control of it all.

haha... I think in a few years I will be a lil old to be called b-boy? B-man? B-uncle?

errr...

A leopard cannot change its spots? Nah... Bible never said so. Change occurs when u r willing to be changed by God. Still, no matter how hard I try, guess some things just don't change so quickly. I really dread the unspoken comparisons. I always asked you Lord, why like that?

Still. It is through weakness that God can work.
I guess its probably easier for the weak to learn how to depend on God than the strong? I dunno. I do know bad memories and experiences have life lessons to learn.

FIGHT IT BERTRAND!!! THIS IS WAR.

Everyone's different, everyone's unique, a precious lil treat.

Everyone's different, Everyone's unique, A precious little treat.

You know... God is so amazing
He created everyone so differently. No too people are the same. Not just in looks, but all differ in character as well.

Well...
However, I guess there are some people who will be your class 'aliens' or your cliques' 'ewww...'
You know... like hello.... I dun like hanging out with them! haha *you're probably thinking of someone like that now*

Well perhaps lets all change our perspective, see them as God's children. Love them. Yes It isn't easy. But... Imagine u were in their shoes. How would you feel?
Evenagelism is through love for God and love for God's people.

Let us all love today. Shine the light of Christ even aound those you would like to avoid. Make someone's world a little brighter by being a light.

Bertrand
P.S. I don't preach on my blog all the time haha.

God is always good

Sometimes, things go wrong. But, God allowed that... Why?
We have to learn from mistakes. Instead of indulging in self-pity, you can start to correcting your flaws and weaknesses.

Thank you for your revelation God. I'll change.

Bertrand